Bulwer-Lytton 奖

加州的圣荷塞州立大学英语系有一个很好玩的文学竞赛，每年评出最糟小说开头奖，以维多利亚时代作家 Bulwer-Lytton 命名：

Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. The contest (hereafter referred to as the BLFC) was the brainchild (or Rosemary's baby) of Professor Scott Rice, whose graduate school excavations unearthed the source of the line "It was a dark and stormy night."

参赛者提供一句小说开场白（必须是未经发表的 original writing），越 cringe-inducing 越好。今年的获奖者是：

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.